Erik's trip to the therapist
by AlyssaLLBlack13
Summary: Just a little one shot based on something my friend Frank came up with. What would happen if the Phantom of the Opera went to the therapist? Well, read on and find out!rated T for some dark humor


Erik's trip to the therapist

Characters:

Erik: the Phantom of the Opera

Dr. Jones: the therapist

The Omnipotent Voice From Above: Erik's conscience

(We open to a typical therapist's office. The Therapist sits at her desk, clipboard in hand. The Phantom is sitting upright on the couch. Hidden beneath the folds of his cape is a Punjab lasso, with the end sticking slightly out towards us. This enables us to see it while the therapist notices nothing.)

T: Now, Erik-do you mind if I call you Erik-?

E: (in a low growl) Yes, I mind.

T: (does not hear this) What seems to be wrong, Erik? What brings you hear?

E: Well, apparently, I have "homicidal tendencies" or something like that.

T: And who first noticed these tendencies?

E: (swears under his breath) I told Miranda this was a bad idea…

T: Your wife?

E: (shocked) Non! A friend, nothing more.

T: Your friend?

E: Yes. Miranda Giry is my friend. She's the one who first mentioned these "homicidal rages."

T: I see. Now, tell me about your childhood.

E: Hmm, let's see…my mother hated me…my mother hated me…and, oh! I spent two years of my life locked in a cage in some freak show. What a wonderful childhood I had.

T: Now, Erik, it couldn't have been that bad.

E: (hand moves to lasso) In that case, you tell me about my childhood.

T: Erik, you're being unreasonable.

E: (hand clenches on rope) Don't talk to me that way…

OVfA: Erik, calm down. There'll be plenty of time for that later.

E: (loosens grip on rope) Yes, yes… My apologies, Doctor. You were saying?

T: (smiles) I was asking about your childhood. How did you come to acquire your residence to beneath the Opera Populàirè?

E: That would be Miranda's doing. She rescued me. I owe her my very life.

T: Yet you are only friends?

E: Miranda is a widow with a teenaged daughter.

T: All the more reason to marry her!

E: (growing angry) I can't. I have my reasons.

T: Well, why not?

E: Because I don't love her! I never have!

(Silence)

T: Erik, are you alright?

E: Fine. Just fine.

T: Have you ever been in love?

OVfA: Answer her. You don't have to go into detail.

E: Yes, I have.

T: Erik, do you want to talk about it.

E: No, not really. I'd like to leave.

T: No, not for another forty minutes. Tell me about your love.

E: (exaggerated sigh) Alright. She was beautiful. A singer. But she didn't love me. Can't say I blame her.

T: Why is that, Erik?

E: Because of what I am. A monster.

T: Now Erik, you aren't a monster.

E: Yes, I am. I'm repulsive.

T: Erik…

E: (removes mask, faces T) What was that about not being a monster?

T: (Clearly horrified) Well I…I…could you put your mask back on, please?

E: (replaces mask)My point exactly. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to leave.

T: No, you have thirty minutes left. Now, about your face…

E: (tenses, holding rope) What about it?

T: How…what happened?

E: Oh, I had acid thrown on me as a child…I was born this way! Thus the freak show!

OvfA: Go ahead, I won't stop you…

E: You don't get it! I killed a man when I was twelve! I killed again just recently! The "Phantom of the Opera"? Me! My fault! I did that! That is why Christine…(a tear trickles down his cheek)

T: (goes from cowering, places hand on his shoulder) Erik? Are you alright?

E: (furious) Don't touch me! (whips around; as he does, his mask flies off) No, I'm not alright. I am pissed off! And you just sit there and act like life is just…tra la la and fuzzy bunnies! This is why I have homicidal rages!

T Calm down or I'll have to call security.

E: Call them! I. Don't. Care!

T: Erik, please! Listen to me!

E: (screaming) No! You listen to me! I'm sick to death of people like you! I like have a heart full of hatred!

OVfA: Oh do it already. I'm bored.

E: Why not! People already say I'm evil. May as well enjoy it!

T: Erik!

E: (whips back cape, revealing lasso. In an instant, he has the therapist's arms pinned behind her and the rope around her neck) Don't start!

OVfA: About time!

T: (weakly) Stop! Erik, please!

E: (tightens the rope)

T: (gasps, then is still and silent)

E: (hides rope, checks pulse, then turns to leave. At the door, he pauses) Oh, and by the way, don't call me Erik. (leaves)

OVfA: (comes onstage, is revealed to be a sixteen year old girl) Yeah, being his conscience rocks! I love this job! (kicks therapist's body) Yeah, I love my job! (exits)

(curtain closes; Therapist is left out of it. She stands)

T: Well, that is it! No more homicidal freaks!

E: (off stage) Should I?

OVfA: Yes. Please.

(A piano key hits the therapist's head, she falls, is still.

(E and OVfA exchange high fives, Erik laughs.)

(end)


End file.
